David vs reality

OK, so I got up this morning, big deal. But I did check the mail and some of you may wonder what is so important about that but it's because my sisters Christmas gift is supposed to arrive and now it wont till Tuesday unless my parents pick it up or something. Well anyway I/we got a David and Jonathan letter. That letter got me thinking. David and Jonathan were best friends even though they had problems like, Jonathan's dad wanting to kill David, or David being in line for king when really it should have been Jonathan. These guys didn't let anything get between them. They loved each other and wouldn't let huge things stop that. And then I looked at me and I don't have a Jonathan. I want a Jonathan but everywhere I go they say to me, "Oh, I'll be your Jonathan but your not going to be my David." And then maybe I thought I could just have a friendship based on the premises of these two Godly characters. But I thought wrong. You see just tiny little problems ruin my friendships and well I would hate to see what the hugest ones will do. Because I am sure that Jonathan probably wanted to be king and I know his dad wanted him to. If I was in that situation it would be hard to say what I would do and well anyway I am kinda just getting all depressed I am sure God has huge plans for me and well I want them even if they don't have a Jonathan. Anyway God bless you and I hope you had a great Christmas and a even better new year.

Crazy mixed up world

Have you ever had someone who was like your best friend and you did a lot with and you let them into your life? You introduce them slowly and take them to all the important things to you? And sudenly those things become important to them. Your so happy for them and its like Sweet because you know you are friends and that things are good. Then Bam before you know it the winds of time catch the sail and takes that friendship away. Slowly but surely it leaves and you are in the water chasing after it because you thought it would last. But all those things that were so important to you are still important to them and you want to be happy for them because it is important to you and valuable and you know they will benifit from it. Only you have this feeling like now it's no longer sharing the things that were important to you. It's become a contest almost or a rip in your favorite shirt. You love that shirt but it's ruined and you need to get a knew one. But you just can bare to throw it out so it sits there on the shelf and you look at it all the time and you wear it every once in a while but just wish that it wasn't torn. Yet you know your wish is not coming true. You want to repair it in anyway possible but how do you. You don't want to make it worse. Eventually someone will throw it out for you and you will miss it. You can never get it back. You can buy a knew one and it will be great but it will never be the same. Never. Right now my life feels like a ripped shirt. Maybe God has put this all into place to guide me and I need to trust him but I am certainly going to miss the shirt not like I am going to throw it out and I am going to try keeping others from doing it. I dread that day. I have found a wonderful new shirt but it still saddens me and some days I fear that I might rip this one to and I just dont want that. I don't even know if I could deal with that.

misconstrued preceptions of reality

Pastor Jason has recently posted about our feelings vs. Reality. I sometimes find it is a fine line determining between the two of these things. I have so much feeling that it overlaps into reality. The reality of it all is that feelings are very real and therefore are a reality. For example I could feel I love someone. That person and or several other people may tell me I do not. The reality there is I do. No matter how much people tell me I do not they will not be able to sway my ideas because to me they are reality. Anyway way off topic here. Life is always going to take you by suprise. Like in this picture; the stairs go straight up but as they get to the top you get this hard ball turn to the left. Bam your not expecting it. Just when you think the path you are on is strraight as an arrow it curvs. Reminds me of a movie clip. Popey and curly are at the castle trying to get the princess and its an epic battle. Though clearly the Princes wishes to be with popey they decide to settle with a contest. Only curly takes Popey's arrow and bends it. So Curly takes his shot and misses but quickly runs and moves the target so that the arrow hits it straigh in the bullseye. Popey takes out his arrow and shoots but it goes astray and flies all over the place and people have to duck to get out of the way and eventually goes out the window.
You hear this ding and a bull comes up to the window with a black eye. And the winner is determined to be Popey because he got the true bullseye. Kinda makes me think maybe sometimes I try to hard to win. Maybe sometimes I want my path to be the bullseye so bad that I'll run and move the target just to get it. But in the end I loose. Someone will come along with there bent arrow and get it straight. God knows the paths he has directed for us and sometimes we think we know where the bullseye is so we try to make it ourselfs yet the really bullseye is completly missed. If we follow the path taking all the wacky crazy turns it brings we will surly hit the true bullseye. All we got to do is let the arrow go and God will guide it. It may not always turn out how you expect it to but you will always win.

Prayer

Lord help me to be strong. Help me to realize the errors of my ways. Help me to forgive those that have harmed me in anyway. Give me a unquenchable desire for you word. But most of all teach me to love! Lord help them to be strong. Give them peace and joy. If I have wronged them then please forgive me. Protect them as they go through out each day. Guide them in your ways. Give them a desire for your word and your love and show them what love is. But most of all be with them even when I can't and carry them when they fall!

Celine was right

"No, you can't do that!"

Haha well I had this delema that I asked a more wisend person than myself about and her simple response was that the the heart was right but the situation was all wrong and the situation makes the heart of the matter. So essencially doing something wrong for the right reason doesn't make it right. Well I thought about that and I mean I took some time to contemplate my situation. I made some minor changes and thought it was all good. It wasn't until recently that I realized that it was all wrong and I should get out while I still can. It was actually thanx to a bumbly old youth pastor whom I have come to enjoy and respect. He kinda gave me the lowdown and said I need to shape up and when he says that I know its true because he knows these things with his great many more years than mine. Anyway luv ya tons PJ and thanx.