Alone

I sit around taking, what I would call crap, all day. I just sit there and I put up with it and well I don't know it's like a build up. You know. Like if you were holding a bar and someone put 10 pounds on each side but they didn't stop there they added another 10 and kept going till you couldn't hold on any longer. I want to explode and rip a face off only I don't instead I think about just leaving and not trying to keep the bar up. I talk to a guy and he says just talk to the person adding the weight and tell them they need to stop and take a bit off even. So I do and the person gets all indignant on me and refuses to stop and maybe even take a little off. So I take the next step and arrange for someone else to help my cause of relieving me a little weight so I don't have to wimp out and leave. Because no one really wants that not even the person adding weight. Then the person adding weight gets all indignant on the person who's helpin out. Well, lucky for me I know who to get to help because well after a long talk things settle down and the person isn't quite so indignant. In fact they maybe even understands that all I want is to be able to hold my bar. They don't necessarily want to take any weight off but they they probably won't add weight. But now things are complicated because well the person who's all indignant never knew the amount of weight they added and therefore didn't care really. Except I think last night they kind had an idea of just how much weight they added and were frankly shocked by it. Only they won't tell me this. I think they will be shocked and then say holy crap I can't deal with this. Maybe they'll run or hope I don't notice the extent of the weight. Only thing is I already have and I tried to tell them but they set off the signal that they don't care. When all I want is for this weight to be bearable. Now I don't know how to respond because well I haven't got any of my information from the person and so I don't want to make assumptions based on what other people tell me. Especially when by the persons actions they send off a completely different signal.

The Number 23

Numbers 32:23 talks about sin catching up to us. Which is bizarre. I went to go see a movie called "The Number 23". It is actually a fairly good movie. I like movies that make you think which this one certainly does that. I won't spoil the movie for you except that just before the end credits there was a quote from the bible. I checked it and it is only half the verse but still. That got me to thinking. Maybe I have the 23 curse. Lol, I certainly am not obsessed with the number or anything like the movie portrays but maybe.... Maybe it's like if you lie, it starts out innocent but then something happens and so not to be found that that you lied in the first place you lie again and soon your stuck with a huge tangle of lies and its hard to tell how you got stuck into it in the first place. I say it's like a knot in a string, you wouldn't have the knot if you just left the string alone in the first place. Eventually someone comes along and finds out your in a knot and helps you out. But by that point everyone knows that your a knot. With lying you end up loosing trust. The thing is consequence it just comes up to bite you in the ass. If it wasn't for consequence then you could anything you wanted. My point is simple as is the movie's. Your sin will catch up to you and when it does you have two choices run some more which will only lead to death or take consequence and learn from it. This path leads to life. I know which path I want to take but it's a battle. I don't think anyone likes consequence. But I'll ask you one question. Is it better to have consequence and life or to run a path leading death?